Nathicharami & Saptapadi – The Sacred Marriage Vows and Beyond

“Dharmecha Arthecha Kaamecha Nathicharami” . Late Kalpana, yesteryear Kannada film industry’s celebrated actress in the movie “ Gejje Pooje” ( Worship of the anklets) in a state of heighted emotion urges her lover ( played by the Late Gangadhar) to chant these words on the banks of river Cauvery. And then asks him to repeat it, again loudly and then again asks him to stress on the word “ Naticharami”, he follows and then in a state of ecstasy breaks into this cult classic song “ Gaganavu ello bhoomiyu ello ondu ariye naa. Nanage nee needida vachanava keli, keli sote naa ( sky is somewhere, the earth somewhere, I wouldn’t know. Hearing your promise to me, I drifted, drifted, drifted away).

What is Naticharimi? Why is this Sanskrit chant so important in our wedding rituals. A word that sounds so appealing has piqued my interest. A solitary word that the bridegroom utters to his bride to solemnise his bond along with other Vedic chants and hymns further cementing the union between two souls. Our own Subhash in another 72 hours or less is going to utter this momentous, life-changing word to our dearest Vishaka. What a solemn moment that will be for the couple.

Let us dwell on Naticharami a little more. “न अतिचरामि” this is the phrase.

न - not

(अहम्) अतिचरामि - (I) will transgress or cross limits

“I will not transgress” or “I will not be unfaithful”. A pristine vow to embrace and cherish the partner in life and accept unconditionally all that life has in store in terms of duty, finances, desires and ultimately salvation.

A marriage solemnised by this chant along with the saptapadi which enhances the promise of “till death do us apart”.

Akasha means sky and Dharani means earth. One of the marriage mantras, which is recited by the groom, says, “I am the sky, and you are the earth.” This is not to indicate the superiority of the husband over the wife. It is to show that each is indispensable to the other. An example will help us understand this better. We may choose any number of ways to water plants — we may use a hose pipe, or a watering can, or use a bucket to water the plants. But no matter which of these methods we resort to, nothing can equal the freshness of plants which have just received a good shower of rain. So, the sky has a relationship with the earth, which is unequalled by any other. That is why Sita says to Kausalya that while a father and mother may dote on their daughter, the greatest joy for her comes from having a loving husband. Another mantra says that relationship between the two is like that between lyric and tune. Rig Veda is nothing but poetry, and Sama Veda is the music for this poetry. Thus, all Vedic mantras show the equality of husband and wife.

Let us also dwell on the sacred thread tying ceremony with the chant of the following mantra.

Mangalyam tantunanena

Mama jivana hetuna

Kanthe badhnami, Subhage,

Tvam jiva sharadam shatam.

Meaning:

This auspicious thread

Which is the source of my own life

I tie around your neck, oh good woman,

May you live for a hundred springs.

The bridegroom invokes the above mantra while tying the mangala sutra around his bride's neck. He is actually blessing his bride to live a hundred years & invoking blessings from the deities. He is also telling her that “this auspicious thread he is putting around her neck” is the very source of his own life forces - thus if the bride lives for a hundred years wearing the thread, he would live too! He is telling her that now they are tied together in life; and that she holds the key to their long life together & happiness!

After the groom finishes uttering this, all elders present repeat “Jivema sharadah shatam (May you live for a hundred springs)” thus repeating the blessings.

This mantra, like many others, illustrates the comprehensive & catholic nature of Vedic vision.

Then the " Saptapadi " or the " Seven Steps " which the couple takes together after tying the Mangala sutra or Thali (sacred thread). The manner in which these seven steps are taken differ. In some South Indian marriages, these seven steps are taken towards the Southern direction with the groom holding the little finger of the bride and then going round the sacred fire. In certain other marriages, the groom holds the hand of the bride and leads her around the fire seven times. Every step is taken invoking the Gods to shower their blessings on the couple.

1. With the first step , the couple invokes the Gods for plenitude of food.

2. With the second step , the couple prays to the Gods to give them both mental and physical strength and a healthy life free from ailments.

3. The third step is for the fulfilment of spiritual obligation for the couple and for the successful performance of their spiritual duties.

4. The fourth step is for the attainment of happiness in all walks of life.

5. The fifth step is to pray for the welfare of all living entities in the entire Universe.

6. The sixth step is for bountiful seasons all over the world.

7. The seventh step is taken invoking the prayer and sacrifice for universal peace.

On taking these seven steps together, the couple agrees to be companions forever and pray that they never have any conflicts so as to break this companionship. Having sought each other out to be life partners, they agree to lead a harmonious life taking into consideration not only each other's likes and dislikes, but also keeping in mind the good of the entire family. They pray for their unity, prosperity and happiness.

It is sad that the whole hindu marriage ritual is deemed a cumbersome process. Our practices thrive on symbolism and it is therefore paramount that we dwell deep into the meaning of the Vedic chants to understand their larger purpose. Me for instance, always found it demeaning that the father of the bride washes the groom’s feet till I realised that the groom was symbolic of Lord Vishnu in a Hindu marriage and the bride of Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity. Likewise “Kanyadaanam” and several preceding and following procedures.

Many feel that marriage is just a social arrangement.A relationship is not bound by just a mangalasutra.A couple is bound together with a love that is as vast and profound as the ocean.They are bound together like the sun and the sky…..the waves and the sea……the Aatma and Paramatma.However,the marriage vows are predominantly centred around procreation. So it’s hard to disagree with the social relevance of marriage.

However there is something cosmic about a union through marriage which is undeniable.Dharma plays a large part here. Dharma is not bound by religion or tradition.It is universal and true for every individual and yet particular and different for each individual. In a marriage two people come together in such a strong way that their Dharma becomes one.

They procreate and raise a family selflessly.As my thoughts go berserk and the ink flows as I pen, maybe I am finding some answers emerging. It is said that the Kanyadaanam is a sure fire way to attain moksha. Maybe, it’s a pivotal part of a parents Dharma. Kanyadaanam which is so final is actually the starting point of a couples journey together.

There are so many aspects of the customs we follow that get me thinking as I know there is always a rationale behind it.One may agree or disagree with the logic as it may or may not be relevant in today’s times. At times I find myself antithetical as I head for a better understanding. What is definitely clear as crystal is the congruity and solidity of the institution called marriage.

Amidst all the fun and frolic of the Sangeet and the Cocktail ceremonies these days, it would be nice for a learned elderly person or a priest to set aside some time to help understand and clarify the significance of each ritual to the couple in a simple manner in a language they understand.It would be nice to let them know that the Nathicharami chant and the saptapadi rites are not just an inconsequential jumble of Sanskrit words or insignificant sacrament but a beautiful celestial vow that signifies the very sanctity of their marriage!